this shoot could not have come at a better time!

recent events have not been so favorable, and things were starting to get to my zen place.

i was called over by a few officemates of mine to drop in on them in our friend Aimee's house. i thought, at the time, that they were just hanging out, so i said yes without so much as batting an eyelash.

i got there and to my surprise, they were having a full on fashion shoot.

and to cut the long story short, i was asked to step in for a few frames.

i got the photos a few days after, and boy, were they a welcome sight. they brought back the spring in my step!

a total of 5 people have complimented me on my skin in the last 2 weeks. people have mentioned improved skin tone, blemish free surface, and the one that people keep saying is that it's like someone removed all of my pores all in one go.

i have to say, i wish i could credit good genes, or some other natural source of all this fabulousness, but i'm afraid i cannot. i've been using pond's age miracle for a few months now, i think for a month and a half now, and i have to say that it has been truly miraculous.

i've been using products since god knows when, and i've always been underwhelmed with the lot of them. olay total effects was very good, and some of the hand me down moisturizers from the "luxe" brands have all been okay too. but none of them have given me real results like this before.

i must admit though, that this is the first time i've been completely loyal to a skin care "regimen". i have the facial wash, the night and day cream, the other day cream, the eye cream and the moisturizer. i have been following the instructions to the letter, and right here and right now, i do not regret doing so.

my skin feels amazing. there are no rough spots, oil is not an issue, and i am literally glowing.

so worth the 2.5k i spent on this gunk.

see me to believe it.

I want to feel your body close. And I want to hear every breath and every word every waking moment. I dream of you. I want you to love me like I've never felt love before. Warm me, hold me and I want you to take me to your secret place beneath the brazen skies, under the harvest moon.

And come inside my dream cave. Come inside my rainbow shell. And come inside my dream cave, and I will show you.

We bathe in shadows; chocolate kisses linger. The air is heavy and sweet in this luscious tangle... In this luscious tangle of oblivion.

i'm obsessing right now over lips.

my friend kit made a passing remark at me recently after seeing some of my photos. he congratulated me on finally taking the plunge and embracing botox.

of course i was extremely ELATED upon hearing these words.

i've never had botox injections, and after seeing what happened to Lara Flynn Boyle, i dont think i ever will.

but now i find myself obsessing over full and plump lips.

the concept of lip plumpers is new to me. will give it a shot.

will update once a purchase has been made.

now, the aforementioned photos:






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i've since bought smashbox O-PLUMP. it's very very tingly, feels like you've been snogging with an ice sculpture.

so far so good though :D

This may come as some surprise but I miss you. I can see through all of your lies, but still I miss you. You take his love, but it doesn't feel like mine. You taste his kiss, his kisses are not wine, they're not mine. You take, but surely he can't give what I'm feeling now. He takes, but surely he doesn't know how. Is it a crime? That I still want you? And I want you to want me too... My love is wider than Victoria Lake. My love is taller than the empire state. It dives and it jumps and it ripples like the deepest ocean. I can't give you more than that, surely you want me back.

talk about great timing.

I bought Up Dharma Down's new album today, and I've been looping it endlessly on my iPod.

the music fits today, along with the past couple of days, weeks and even months.

Distance is a good word.

I needed plenty of it after a catastrophic occurrence last year: one I had to personally execute and see through to the end. The deed was done, but not without casualties.

My actions were seen by others as unjust and baseless, while others saw it as an over reaction. I needed not to qualify my actions to others, and I had complete and total resolve all through out that ordeal.

Still, after all that, I felt the need for even more distance.

And so I did.

I distanced myself from all familiar nouns. The usual locations were emptied, various channels were rendered derelict.

Funny how these things seem to catch up with you, in one way or another.

what a year ender this is turning out to be. that's all i'm saying.

i thought this time would be different.

sigh.

whoever said silence is golden doesn't know what she's talking about.

Massive picspam!

the other day was definitely another one for the books.

our maid woke me up at the ungodly hour of 10am to tell me that i have a very important phone call. i stir, i grumble, but i do eventually get up. i pick up the phone, and it's my lesbian tita, calling me from the states. she talks for a minute, then proceeds to count the ways she disapproves of me and then issues several warnings. i put down the phone defeated.

there is no arguing with bull dykes on a mission.

and, interestingly enough, i discovered there is no going back to sleep after an angry phone call from a bull dyke as well!

lesbian voodoo is strong stuff.

i decide to catch up on sleep later. i get up, go downstairs and look for the dog. ZOE, the chupacabra, is just a burst of sunshine. i swear, if she were a cake, she'd be a rainbow one and we can all eat her and be happy.

im supposed to take her to the salon today to get her groomed. my brother catches wind of this and asks to hitch a ride.

i take him to to where he needs to go. I discover that it's a lesbian party he's going to.

im visibly miffed.

i then went to tiendesitas, dropped off zoe at her salon and then i went to starbucks. i order myself a nice, quaint little lunch.

i am sitting outside, enjoying my coffee and spinach pie, reading my book and just having a nice saturday afternoon.

and then a whole dykes on bikes parade comes in. They decide to park their large auto mechanic savvy assess
in the seats next to mine. They're a loud bunch, and i could tell from their ghetto gold accessories and superman lampins that they are not to be messed with today. not today. the mullets have just been trimmed, and the cornrows are fresh.

they are smoking their red package cigarettes, blowing smoke carelessly into my saturday picnic.

at this point, i was just waiting to hear the words: VAGINA, CARPET, PLAID and/or CHANGE OIL. i swear, if i did, i would've dropped everything like a hot potato. I would have gone over there, sat down, grew an instant mullet and would have gone fucking native.

Cheesus: she hates me. She hates me with a passion.

seriously, if i play any more sims, I'm going to start walking around with a green diamond over my head and start speaking in simlish.

IM OBSESSED!!!!

but i love it though. seriously.

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I am ashamed to admit this, but i'm going ahead anyway.

i love girls aloud.

seriously.

manufactured pop, FOR SHIZZ. but i love it.

i love it and i really can't get enough.

AUGH!

what's happening??

i hate the fact that i embarrassed myself beyond reprieve.

i threw up in front of people this morning. in a very disgusting way to say the very least.

me, a person who doesn't even brush his teeth in front of people because of all the inevitable spitting, threw up to an audience of two.

dry heaving is never ever pretty.

even if you do it in dark winter couture and snazzy jeans.

augh.

to moki, im soo soo soo soo soo sorry.

and to Jose, if you want to have me banned from the building, i'd gladly give you my 2x2 mugshot. just let me arrange for a photo shoot first.

my computer at home is finally up and running, and thanks to our collective decision to wipe it clean, i have about 200GB of HD space to once again consume and fill with music, photos and whatnot. i can't wait!:)

i've downloaded a few albums so far, and i swear to god, i will be extra vigilant in grabbing all the right album covers for them. I once saw the iTunes of my cousin, and her entire collection came complete with album art. it was beautiful!

------------------------------------------------------

so i think i might have runner's knee. why must doomsday shit happen to me all the time?

my race doctor is mad at me for performing auto diagnosis, but what's a cripple to do all day? i could barely stand upright last Sunday, and so i spent the time in front of my computer looking for possible answers/clues. i stumbled upon a condition called runner's knee, or ~patellofemoral pain~.

i read about it, and all i know is that now i better fucking stop grinding my kneecap into oblivion.

it really was grinding yesterday, at the office, which was so effing scary. not to mention gross.

i hope acupuncture will help it some. i need to work on my running form though, that's for sure. and perhaps nike lunars aren't for me after all. DAMN. i really love those shoes.

although training will have to be put on hold first. i need to know what this knee condition really is. until then, no more running.

DAMN.

-------------------------------------------------------

i love SHIINA RINGO. i downloaded a torrent that had ALL her shit. ALBUMS + SINGLES + COLLABS = SOLID GOLD.

people think it's weird i listen to this and i don't even speak Japanese.

this is solid proof that i really don't listen to lyrics. at least, not right away. i listen to melody and rhythm first and foremost.

but even stranger, after listening to these songs, you kinda make up your own stories after awhile.

i guess it helps that shiina is really just an effin genius.

------------------------------------------------------

i'm compiling a new playlist on my iPod.

i'm calling it LOVE/hate. ahahahah! after the NB Ad campaign which i really love.

i don't have music all the time when i run, but it's nice when you have the perfect playlist that's just ready to go.

i really am not a subscriber of: "I don't want my parents to work. I want to provide them with everything they need."

I mean, why not? when i reach 50, i don't expect anyone to "provide" me with anything. i mean, the idea of relatives giving me money so that i can buy moisturizer for the liver spots on my ass (when i'm old, hypothetically speaking) doesn't sit well with me at all. i mean, if they knew how much a tube of that costs then they'd probably stop sending me the ampao envelopes.

its a very popular idea in this nation of mine. particularly among people who are from the smaller cities and towns.

I don't know. i think its a good meditation though. perhaps people don't see work as something worth their time. or as something not worth investing time and effort in. just something you HAVE TO do in the meantime to get to the part where someone else can carry your weight for you.

i don't want to be invalid. I don't want to become someone else's burden. if i have kids, i will not let them grow up thinking that they owe me big time. i'll provide them with an education, a house, and whatever else. but i do it because it is my duty as a parent and out of, perhaps, love. (i dont like kids)

but i won't hold it over them like some death sentence thats just waiting to be issued.

i just saw something a few days ago that got me thinking about this.

i appreciate the value of work, and what it does to a person. when i retire, i want to have a gargantuan bank account thats all mine. i don't want to retire and have it in my head that i'm someone else's problem now!

i have a really cheap heart.

i got attached to a dog in a span of 2 days. I miss zoe, the chupacabra.

maybe it's a reaction towards something more profound. like it's a projection of sorts.

or then again, maybe not.

i've been happy with my single life. i make it a point to live with absolutely no regrets. i can still count with my ten fingers the things i actually do regret (and the subject of the earlier post is NOT one of them)

but lately, a lot of things have been changing. i'm now older by a few years, and i can actually feel it (a bit). the fact that the people around me are aging too just gets the point across clearer. but anyway, yeah, things have been changing, and i can say that i'm a bit different now as compared to a few years ago.

it's exciting, to know where i stand at this moment. unlike in my actual life where traveling light means one trolley, a trunk and a "hand-carry" duffel bag, i am here now at this threshold with but a few things. i carry with me an adventurous spirit: an openness and curiosity, and the experience and wisdom to temper and guide me through what lies ahead.

WHAT A GROSS POST. SERIOUSLY. Last time i checked, my name WASN'T Dr. Phil!

I miss Zoe, though. That part i truly meant. I mean CMON!?!?!? LOOK!



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please, just leave me alone. I'm done with this whole thing.

You've had months to prepare whatever back story or explanation or excuse you might have for yourself. You may even be super convincing right now. Hell, you might even be right. But please, I don't want to hear it. I don't want any of it.

I'm done with this friendship. I don't want to go back. There's no point in convincing me that you were right and I was wrong and that I overreacted and that I'm an asshole. There's no point! There is no going back.

If all you want me to say is that you were right and I was wrong, then here it is:

YOU WERE RIGHT, I WAS WRONG.

Happy? Now please, shut up and go.

And I know I'm an asshole. Everyone who knows me knows I can be a big one.

So please. Stop it. Just stop whatever it is.

I can't believe we're back here.

I've already canceled my subscription. I don't need your issues. PLEASE!

boys and girls, please do yourselves a favor and go to rockwell and EAT at pepper lunch!!

it was soo good, i swear.

do it today!

i was doing "manly chores" all week this week. Monday to Thursday was a blurred mixture of talyer, Caltex and Servitek.

my god.

Servitek was funny though. the day i went to get my tires replaced and my wheels aligned was the day the entire island of Themyscira decided to change the wheels on their chariots as well. I swear. i haven't seen so many bull dykes in one place. mullets, mommy jeans and tacky gold accessories all around!

but what's weird is that they all seem to smell like baby cologne.

and what's up with the lampin slipped behind their shirts?

if i have the urge to cut my hair into a mullet, someone please, just slap me and shake me.

i was at the mall earlier today, and i was just walking around, minding my own business. i spent a good 2 hours there i think, and when i looked at my watch i saw that i really had to leave otherwise i would be late for work. i was rushing through the different floors, cause i had parked really far. i was passing through this kiosk and i was on total ignore mode so i didn't bother to look at what i had just stepped into. a girl came rushing to me from the opposite direction, with an instant smile on her face and her right hand already extended to meet mine for a handshake. i didn't extend my arm. i was in such a rush that i couldn't even bring myself to listen to what she was saying. i was rushing through, and she was talking and trying to sell me something i think. i could hear the words "time", "cause" and "children". i don't like persistent salespeople, and i don't like being followed. so i just unconsciously said "I'm sorry I'm sorry, no time. no time for children." and the woman's face turned white.

i was too busy to care, at that point.

just as i was about to turn the corner, i saw, out of the corner of my eye, the familiar blue and white logo of UNICEF.

i will make a donation. i promise.

with the current oil crisis, one cannot help but think about worst case scenario.

and in this case, the human race's impending doom.

i know that there have been efforts in finding alternative sources of energy. we have al gore talking to us about a very inconvenient truth. we have all these companies supposedly going green. we have the hybrid cars, the global summits (you think flying in all those delegates is fuel efficient?), etc.

the fact of the matter is, the oil crisis is not impending. its now. we have to face the music.

this is not a blog post about how we should all start planting trees and ordering a prius (wala nun dito sa pilipinas!). this is not about global warming and how we might just get some snow in the manila (hey! nagka HALE na ok?). this is a post on what seems to be what everyone else forgot to think about.

what happens after?

we all know the story of how globalization began and how it changed the way the human race operated forever. trading between countries is how the world turns.

but lets say the oil does run out. that it really just goes to 0%., and that the saudis will be rendered as regular citizens of the world. what happens after?

the shipping industry will sink, and all airplanes will have their wings torn. all international trade will come to a screeching halt. yes, they're working on finding alternative sources of energy right now. its true. but it's true also that running out of fossil fuels will put a damper in daily operations. can you imagine how much an airplane ticket would be? or how much it would be to ship the Klepp coffee table you bought from Ikea.com?

and that's just thinking on a personal level.

think about it on a bigger scale.

google "world's busiest ports". look at the itineraries of some of the world's busiest docks. you will be astounded. who knew the chinese wanted an xtrillion pieces of california "sunkist" oranges daily?

so think about it. what happens when the exxon valdez can no longer take to sea?

I live in the Philippines, and as far as I know, our government officials have chosen to import everything. just makes it easier, I think, to pad bills that way. My country is a poor, third world country, and there is no way on Earth we will be able to pay for a shipment of Downy April Fresh from China when this shit hits the fan.

it's going to be hell. how am i supposed to smell like a fresh morning breeze without downy? heads will definitely roll.

but seriously. i don't think we'd be able to survive. we import rice, for godsakes. RICE?? we can't even grow our own? we've been eating that since time began. its impossible that we don't know how to grow rice.

google "Sakoku". or open this link in a new tab ---> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sakoku

it's the way i see it. we will have no choice in the matter, whatsoever. we will be isolated from the world, and we have to stand up on our own two feet. kaya ba naten? i have my doubts.

it will be the exact opposite of globalization. can we call it localization? hmmmm, that needs more jazz. a bit more scandal. perhaps we can call it the great seclusion.

if you're the glass half empty type, then you can call it the beginning of the end

if you're optimistic, you can call it the beginning of the second renaissance.

cause honestly, right now, the way i see it. it could swing both ways. it just depends on how we prepare for it.

there's no use in denying it. it's right there, waiting for us.

it's a bummer I believe in reincarnation. sigh.

my neighbor has rented out a karaoke machine.

he has now had it in his possession for the past 4 days.

someone needs to fucking bomb his house and blow up that godforsaken machine.

MY GOD.